Finding a way back
by gilrah14
Summary: Post-finale. It's been four years since Rory turned down Logan's proposal – since their ways parted. Now, after years of not hearing from each other, they meet again at a certain Gilmore wedding - how will they react when they run into each other? And what will happen when Logan finds out about a very special little person in Rorys life? ROGAN.
1. Chapter 1

So, first things first – english isn't my mother-tongue, so there might be mistakes – sorry for that.

This is my first fanfiction of Rory and Logan, and I also know that stories like that have been done a thousand times, but I can't help it … I love Rogan, so I have to add my imaginations of their meet-again :)

I would really appreciate it if you would leave me a comment - it would be great to read a few reviews! 3

LOGANS POV

Boarding went without any complications – even though I wished it wouldn't be so uncomplicated. There simply had to be more obstacles, signals telling me that I shouldn't go back to the States, that I should have stayed in London and never think of going home again. Returning to the States after four years of living and working in London seemed like the most logical step for me. For my career. I was about to take over the headquarter of the HPG in New York, my father finally gave me more freedom when it comes to business. He trusted me to not screw it up – he said that I had grown up over the past years and I thought he thinks it's his success. I let him think that he was right most of the time – it was better to keep him happy and self-satisfied.

But I knew the truth. Pain and disappointments made me grow up. Rory made me grow up. The day she said no changed me in many ways. I moved to California, but I couldn't stay there – it reminded me of the life Rory and I could have had. I soon went to London and I stayed there ever since.

Going back home meant facing my family and friends – I could think of a million more comfortable things to do. I never lost contact to my friends, Finn and Colin visited me from time to time. That was how I found out that they still kept in touch with Rory, they kind of tried to talk me into contacting Rory – but I always blocked conversations like that. I missed Rory with all my heart but I could not bear hearing of her, of her life, of her being good.

My life wasn't bad – it just wasn't complete and I knew exactly what was missing. I should have gone back to Rory instantly, telling her that I could wait, that there was no need to rush things – but I was too proud. I was simply too proud and stubborn, so my pride destroyed the best thing I ever had. I screwed things up big times.

However – Rory has always been the commitment type of girl, she would hardly have any difficulties of finding a boyfriend again. That was why I never called her, why I never searched for her. I was sure wherever she was; she was living a happy life. And the imagination of her being with another man just made my heart hurt so much that I barely allowed myself to think about that.

So, while I was convinced that she was happy, I was feeling like an empty shell for four long long years.

"Would you like another coffee, Sir?" asked the stewardess with an incorruptible smile. "Yes, please." I answered, giving her a small and quick smile. After she handed me my coffee, she smiled at me once again in a more than obvious way and left. I shook my head – I hadn't enjoyed the company of another woman since ages. It was ridiculous, a few years ago, I could never imagine, that someday I wouldn't be interested in women anymore. I was only interested in one woman. I sighed, and started working again on my laptop, trying not to think about her anymore.

Finn picked me up at the JFK airport and when he hugged me, I realized how much I missed him. "Hey, man, finally back in good, old America! How did the Queen took the news of you leaving? She must be shocked, no more amusement in her life!" Finn grinned.

"Well, it's good to be back even though I will miss the kindness of the Brits." I laughed. Finn acted shocked. "What? I am kind! Honestly, your life is much better when I'm around! Life will be as great as it was before you left!" I felt my smile leaving my face. No. It would never be as great. Not with her missing. Just as the words came out of Finns mouth he immediately regretted it, he looked as if he wanted to bit off his tongue.

"Shit, Logan, shit, I am so sorry, man. I wasn't thinking. I …" Finn rambled.

"Oh, come on, Finn. Stop it. It's okay." I assured him, even though it was everything but okay.

"You know, it could be. It could be as great. You only have to call her, one simple call." Finn said carefully.

I felt my heart ache. "No." I said simply. Finn opened his mouth to start protesting, but I cut his speech. "No, Finn. I – I don't even have her number.", which was like the most lamest excuse ever.

Finn grinned. "That shouldn't be a problem." I looked at him, confused. "What do you mean?"

"I have her number." Finn said simply, shrugging his shoulder. He had her number? What? Are they friends? I just could not take it.

"Logan? Hey, everything okay?"

"Why do you have her number?"

"Well, remember a few years ago, not long after you settling down in London? I tried so hard to convince you to call her. But you said you never wanted me to talk about her again and that's what I did. Most of the times. I admit, I was annoying sometimes when I was trying to put some sense into your head, but it wasn't working. … But hey, while you started your life in London I had to continue mine here. She was a part of it … we never lost contact, neither Colin did." Finn looked at me, waiting for my reaction. I didn't know what to say. Finn was friends with Rory. I could not decide whether to be mad, jealous or curious. Maybe a mix of all emotions strangling my mind would do it. Before I could answer my phone rang.

"Logan Huntzberger, hello?", I said.

"Logan. You had a safe flight?", the caller asked. The caller didn't even needed to introduce himself, I knew who he was instantly.

"Yes, dad." I answered, trying not to be annoyed. It was exactly what I expected, but a naïve part of my mind continued to hope that my expectations would turn out to be wrong. The control of Mitchum Huntzberger was starting again as soon as my feet touched American ground.

"Well, that's good, son. I just wanted to tell you about a wedding you have to attend tomorrow and don't you dare to-" Mitchum started his speech. I gritted my teeth, I could not believe it.

"Dad! You can't be serious! I could came back home, I have some catching up to do and I am also really tired. You can't expect me to –"

"Logan! I do can expect you to go to that wedding! It's an important society event and you are a Huntzberger! It's your duty to represent your family!"

"Okay, okay, dad." I said defeated. I had no power to fight with him about that right now. "Just send me a driver tomorrow and I'll be there."

"Great. The driver will pick you up at 2 p.m. It was good talking to you." And with that he hung up. I stared at my iPhone.

"Yeah, always a pleasure." I mumbled.

"What was that about?" Finn asked while leading me to his car.

"Oh, just dad being dad." I answered and decided to forget about that conversation until tomorrow. In need of distraction I said: "So, why don't you tell me about everything I missed in the scandalous Hartford society?"

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	2. Chapter 2

Thank you so much for the nice reviews! :) Here's chapter two, I know, it's a bit short but I promise I'll update soon!

LOGANS POV

1:50 p.m. I was ready to go to that damned wedding. Another loveless society wedding, I was so sick of all the hypocritical acting. I was also sick of thinking of marriages. Because I always had to think of what our wedding could have been like. Rorys and mine. It was annoying – I had to think about her constantly since I arrived yesterday. Well that was nothing new to me, because the thoughts about her had tortured me nonstop the last years, but being home again made everything more … intense and painful. Maybe it was about the fact that I was closer to her again. Even though I had no idea where Rory was – maybe here, but maybe in Australia or Egypt – everything about my home reminded me of her. Oh, man, I had to stop thinking about that. Case closed, I told myself.

I have to play my role tonight, me being satisfied and well fitting into the Hartford society.

I walked back into my bed room to get my mobile. In the same second I thought of what Finn had told me yesterday. About him having contact to Rory. About Colin having contact to Rory. About everyone being a part of Rorys life, everyone but me. No, not again, case closed.

My car service was on time and to my surprise I saw Frank walking up to me. I wondered whether my dad had arranged that on purpose, because he knew that Frank had been my driver back when I lived here. Anyway, I was really happy to see him, I have always liked him.

"Mr. Huntzberger. It's so good to have you back home." Frank greeted me with a big smile.

The drive to the wedding I was forced to attend went on smoothly – we did small talk about the past years - until I recognized the streets we were approaching. I knew them too well. I caught my breath, no, it simply couldn't be true.

"Frank? Whose wedding are you driving me to?" I tried not to sound too urgent or desperate, but obviously I failed. Frank looked at me through his rearview mirror almost apologetic.

"Oh, I thought you already knew that. We are heading to the wedding of Miss Gilmore."

My heart stopped. No. It simply had to be wrong. I mean, it simply had to be a joke. I couldn't go to her wedding. I couldn't stand seeing Rory marrying another man. Because even the imagination of her walking down the aisle to do the final commitment to another man … it made every nerve inside my body scream that it should be me. How could anyone do that to me? How could my dad to that to me? Yes, we never had a close father-son-relationship, but I was sure that he knew how much Rory meant to me. Why would he force me to attend the wedding of my almost-fiance, the only girl I've ever loved? The disbelieve and pain I felt soon changed into rage.

"Frank, is my father going to be there, too?"

"Yes, I think so. The Gilmore wedding is a huge event, he said."

I gritted my teeth and prepared myself to deal with a lot of pain. Too much pain for just one evening. I saw the driveway and the estate of the Gilmores, the only things I could think of were the many Friday evening dinners with Rory, the times we spend together in the poolhouse. But the most dominating thought when I got out of the car was: How the heck am I supposed to survive that?

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	3. Chapter 3

LOGANS POV

Everything was beautifully decorated. It surprised me because society-weddings usually were all the same, but this one was different. I almost allowed myself to smile. It seemed as if Emily hadn't had too much power about Rorys wedding. There were many familiar people, mostly people I tried to forget. I scanned the crowd for people I knew and maybe even liked just to talk to them, to act occupied. No success. I headed to the bar to get myself a drink. I had the vision that this event would need many many drinks. So I ordered a scotch and looked at the little decoration elements on the desk. 'Wedding of Lorelai Gilmore and –'

"Sir? Here is your drink." The bartender handed me the glass and I thanked him quickly.

'Wedding of Lorelai Gilmore and Lukas Danes.' I took a sip of my scotch to drink down the bitterness. Lukas. Lukas Danes. Somehow I knew the name. It sounded familiar to me. I leaned towards the bartender and asked hesitantly: "Sorry? Do you … Do you know something about the bridegroom?"

"Not much. Apparently they have been together for a few years." Together for a few years. Another twinge into my heart. She had replaced me soon after our break-up, she had moved on more than quickly. How could she? She was about to marry while I still wasn't over her. I still loved her, I have always knew that and here I was about to watch her swearing her love to another man.

"Oh, and I know that he owns a diner in a small town, I don't remember the name, something with Star …"

"Stars Hollow?"

"Yes, that's the town's name. Stars Hollow."

Lukas Danes. Suddenly everything made sense. Luke. Lukes Diner. This wasn't Rory's wedding. It was Lorelai's. I felt incredible relieve flooding through my body. I drank the rest of my scotch and was about to feel more positive about the evening when I spotted her in the crowd talking to Finn and Colin.

Rory. She was still beautiful -she has always been beautiful. She was wearing a cocktail dress which seemed to be like a second skin and her hair reminded me of the way her hair was styled at her grandparents vow-renewal. She was stunning. She laughed about something Finn said and hugged him. I felt another twinge in my heart seeing the three of them acting so familiar. They were still a part of her life, I wasn't. I would have died to know what they were talking about.

I got distracted by two older ladies ordering drinks. One of them bumped into me accidently and excused herself exuberantly. Without waiting for my response she turned back to her friend and said:

"See that Gilmore girl? She is such a beautiful young woman and I really think that it is time for her to settle down, don't you think?"

"Yes, absolutely. Look at the Smithson boy. They make an adorable couple."

Smithson boy? I focused on Rory again, who was still standing with Colin and Finn, but there was another boy who had just joined them. He was tall and had blond hair. He put an arm around Rorys waist and kissed her on her cheek. She looked up to him and smiled.

And with that, my heart broke again.

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	4. Chapter 4

Here is the next chapter - Logan meets two very special girls ;)

Thank you so much for all your nice words in the review section! ❤️

LOGANS POV

After a few minutes of staring at the group of Rory, Finn, Colin and that Smithson boy, I spotted Steph in the crowd. I decided quickly that I was everything but in the mood of talking to her.

I ordered another drink and made my way through the uncountable people until I reached the terrace. Looking over the garden of the Gilmores I had to think of all the hours I spent here. Richard and Emily always liked having me here – even though it was about my last name – they liked me being with Rory. I wondered whether they also liked the Smithson boy being with Rory. I was almost sure they did, because of the way everyone talked about him he seemed to be the perfect guy.

I had to admit, Rory looked really happy. And that was all I ever hoped for. Even though I kind of hoped that she could be happy with me.

I took another sip of my drink. Drowned in my own thoughts I hadn't realized that I wasn't alone anymore - I had company. A little blonde haired girl observed me.

"Alcohol is bad, you know?"

What? Was she talking to me? I looked at her, confused. She smiled at me.

"Sorry. I just wanted to let you know." The little girl said shyly. She kept on staring at me. After a while I realized that it was my turn to say something.

"Oh, no, you don't have to apologize. You're right. Alcohol is bad."

She smirked, obviously very satisfied. "What do you do with the rest of your drink?"

I was surprised. I've never talked to a child like this. How could a little girl of maybe 4 years be so persistent and clever? "Hm, maybe the plants will be happy about my drink?" I asked smiling.

She nodded seriously. "Yes. I am sure they will be." So I poured the rest of my drink to the plants.

I looked at the girl again. "How old are you?"

"Three. But almost four!" She answered proudly. I was about to say something when I heard a familiar voice calling from inside.

"Sweetheart? Lori? Are you outside?"

The little girl beside me called back. "I'm here!"

Rory entered the terrace. "Oh, thank god. Hey, I told you not to go outside because it's freezing here!" She walked over to the girl. "And, way more important, you promised not to leave me alone– suddenly I was surrounded by all these stupi- uhm,.. people. Don't do that to me again, sweetie!" She kneeled down in front of the girl, who was giggling, and kissed her cheek.

I was stunned. What was Rory doing with such a little child? Was it her – no, no way. Maybe it was her sister, that would make sense.

"What are you doing here anyway? Trying to hide, without me?" Rory laughed at her.

"No. I talked to the man."

"What man?" Rory asked and looked in the same direction as the girl, right at me.

She froze. Her blue eyes widened. Rory was obviously shocked, more than shocked.

"L-L-Logan?" she asked, breathless. I smiled, without even wanting it. I simply had to smile, because it was her. After all these years, her eyes were still the same.

"Hi." I said. _Hi?_ I couldn't think of something more stupid to say. But my brain was empty. I wasn't able to say anything intelligent, I just looked at her. "You … you look good."

Rory frowned. "What are you doing here, Logan?"

"Oh, you know, duties. Society duties."

To my surprise Rory laughed. "Ah, I understand. Mitchum forced you to come here." Her laugh was as beautiful as always. She was beautiful.

"Yes. Caught. But to be honest – the occasion of this event could be worse. I mean, wow, I'm so happy that your mom and Luke have finally found it!" I smiled. I hoped to get some information out of her about this girl holding her hand. Luke and Lorelai actually seemed to have a kid, which was great for Rory, because I was sure that she would be a very cool sister.

"Yes, thank you. It was about time for them, really." Rory smiled at me once again.

"You're beautiful, you know that, Ace?" Me using her nickname was so natural, it actually scared me. It came easily over my lips – it felt right. Rory looked at me, surprised.

That was when the little girl dragged her hand and asked: "Why is he calling you 'Ace', mommy? I thought only-"

Mommy? Did she say 'mommy'? All my insides began to burn. She was a mom. The girl is three years old, almost four. Did that mean -? She betrayed me. Betrayed me, right after I was gone? I felt my heart crack again and again. How – I mean, she was always a faithful girl, and we loved each other, how could she forget about me so fast?

Rory looked alarmed. She cut the little girl off – "No, Lori, go inside and look out for granny. I'm sure she already misses you. I'll be with you in a minute, sweetie."

The girl was confused, but listened to Rory – her _mom_ – and went inside.

Rory looked at me, stressed, waiting for a reaction. I had no idea where to begin. Maybe I didn't even wanted to hear the truth, I didn't wanted to hear how fast she had gotten over me, how she found love again and founded a family, without me. The guy who was with her here tonight, he had blond hair, the same blond hair as the little girl. How could she replace me so fast?

Rory interrupted my thoughts, looking worried. "Logan, are you-"

"How could you?" I hissed at her. She opened her mouth but I wasn't going to let her have a say. "No, Ac – Rory, how could you? All this talking about love? First, you reject my proposal, which I can tell you hurt like hell – but that? How could you ever talk about love? You jumped into the bed of this Smithson boy right after we broke up, right? Or has this thing between you started even earlier? I can't even –"

"Logan! What are you talking about?!" Rory's eyes were shiny, which I tried to ignore. I didn't want to appear weak, I wasn't her toy anymore. She hurt me so much I just couldn't show her the love I kept for her over all these years just to find out that she had moved on in a heartbeat.

"I am talking about you betraying me? Or are there any other explanations for the age of the girl? Oh my – I loved you, Rory, I loved you more than _anything _and here I am finding out that you cheated on me? I mean, I trusted you and I thought that I could always count on you-"

Rory interrupted me, she looked mad and was wipping away a tear fiercely.

"Oh Logan, are you serious? Are you blaming me? Who left me alone, after all we-"

I was about to say something but she said: "Stop. I have to go inside now, I can't take this anymore." And with that, she turned around, leaving me alone. I felt even more miserable than before.

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	5. Chapter 5

Sorry for not uploading anything new the last days! School was so exhausting, exams killed my creativity. However - here is the new chapter! Hope you like it - and thank you so much for the reviews! I really appreciate every single one! ❤️❤️❤️

LOGANS POV

I don't remember any details of the ceremony, just a few vows about "coffee" and "eating vegetables from time to time". Rory looked as if she was having a hard job of keeping her act together and I kind of felt guilty. It was her mother's wedding date and I destroyed this unique event for her. But still, I was barely able to hold my shit together, too – this whole wedding stuff was only intensifying my mood. As soon as the ceremony was over I went to get me a drink.

"Wow, Logan Huntzberger, you of all people, here at a Gilmore wedding!" I heard a familiar voice saying. I turned around and was hugged by Steph. I tried to smile.

"Yeah, I didn't exactly knew about this wedding until the moment I stepped out of the car."

Steph nodded. "Have you seen her?" I laughed bitterly. I spotted her again, she was standing with Finn and Colin. Finn was holding the little girl and was engrossed talking to her. I felt my anger coming back. Of course they knew about that.

"And I guess you also talked to her?" Steph continued her interrogation. I nodded shortly.

"Any more information?" she was begging. I sighed.

"I was talking to that girl – her … daughter, then she appeared and things got … a little bit ugly. That's all." Now it was Steph's turn to sigh.

"Oh no, Logan. What did you say? Rory has been acting weird ever since she came back from searching Lori. Did you blame her? Because Logan –"

"Of course I blamed her, Steph!" I defended myself. "I mean, what do you expect from me? She moved on immediately after she said no to me and then she is having a family with another man. Of cause I am hurt!"

"Logan?" she asked, looking at me softly.

"Yes?"

"Do you love her?" One simple question.

"Yes." I was surprised. I admitted it. And admitting it to Steph was easy. Yes, I loved her. Of course I did, I would always love her. But what's the point of loving someone forever when you are not loved back?

"Okay. Then don't do that to her. Don't hurt her."

"I can't hurt her anymore, Steph. She has moved on. Clearly." I stated bitterly.

Steph hesitated. She sighed and said: "Logan, I don't know whether I am in the right position to say that. Right now, by telling you that, I am probably breaking all rules of friendship. Rory will kill me, but … I do think that you can hurt Rory because she hasn't completely moved on."

"But … the man … and her daughter …"

"Oh come on, Logan! The Smithson guy is such an idiot, selected by Emily Gilmore, so that Rory has a presentable date for the wedding. There have been a few arranged dates by Emily, she hopes that Rory will finally 'become reasonable'." What? They weren't together?

"But there surely have been other …?" I asked hesitantly, trying to get information of Rory's life without appearing completely pathetic – which was a challenge.

"To be honest, Rory has never been the date-girl. We practically had to drag her out of the house. She hasn't exactly enjoyed the company of many men. She was miserable after you left her and-"

"What? She said no to my proposal which is the most significant proof that she didn't wanted to share her life with me! Of course I left!"

Steph lifted one eyebrow. "Are you sure that's what she said? Did she say 'I don't love you and that's why I don't want you in my life'?" I looked at her confused. What was Steph up to?

Steph was about to lose her patience, at least that was how she looked like when she hissed at me: "Oh come on, Logan! Don't look at me like that! You do mean something to her, believe me. And I warn you, you better fix this thing between you."

But there was still the thing with her daughter which bothered me. How could she – I mean, how was I supposed to act normal when I knew exactly that she betrayed me? I could not forget about that and was just about to ask Steph, when a familiar voice interrupted us. "Huntzberger!"

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	6. Chapter 6

"Huntzberger!" Colin shouted. "Hey man, I haven't seen you in ages!" We hugged each other.

"Yes, darling, we missed you." Finn agreed. We grinned at each other.

"No, seriously, I had no idea that you are coming to this wedding." Finn said more seriously. I wasn't sure, but there might be a hint of discomfort in his eyes. Was he feeling guilty because he hasn't told me anything about the wedding?

"I had no idea either." I answered shortly.

"Soooo …" Colin began, obviously eager to act normal. "Don't you think it's about time to form our sub-party?" Steph laughed and said: "Finally, I thought you would never start with that!"

"Uncle Colin!" A voice said from behind her. It was Rorys daughter. "I've been looking everywhere for you!"

"Oh, Miss Lori, I'm so sorry." Colin said and took Lori into his arms. He tickled her stomach which made her laugh. They were so familiar – with Rorys daughter.

"Mom sent me to search for Steph." She turned towards Steph. "Mom needs to be rescued from the weird man." She said seriously.

Steph grinned, took Loris hand and walked away. Meanwhile, Colin said to Finn: "Seriously, the Smithson heir is such an idiot, I don't know what Emily thought by arranging a date for them both. Rory was about to get really really annoyed by her when I last saw her."

Finn grinned. "Maybe today will be the big showdown. Every wedding needs a drama."

"Drama is always an issue in a Gilmores house, you know that. Too many feminine creatures of the Gilmore clan can only cause a drama."

"Yeah, but the youngest Gilmore is such an angel, for now. Don't know what will happen to her when she is spending more time with all these crazy people. We have to keep an eye on her, Colin, otherwise she will get a coffee addict, just as her mom."

Colin laughed. "Yeah, as if we're better role models, Finn. You remember the holy liquid you are holding in your hand?"

Finn looked down at his whiskey. "Oh, yeah. Anyways, I will do my best." He grinned.

They had completely forgotten about me. I was just standing there, listening to their conversation about Rorys daughter – how the hell was I able to stay calm? They were obviously very involved in her life and it hurt me to admit it, but I was so freaking jealous – jealous, that they were still relevant to Rory. Even though, at the same time I felt anger rising in my chest – how could they keep the existence of Rorys daughter such a secret? I emptied my glass with just one sip and placed the glass on the table with a bit too much force.

That caught Finn and Colins attention. They looked at me. "Logan – " Colin began.

But I did not let him a chance to explain. "Oh Colin, come on! You don't have to explain yourself - and don't look at me like that! I know that you have hidden this from me all those years! You know, both of you, you always act as if you would be my best friends, as if you would actually care for me, but okay –"

Finn looked furious. "Hey man – you have absolutely no right to blame us! We were always your friends! We respected you! You said you don't want to know about her – we accepted that!"

Was he kidding me? As if the fact that Rory was having a baby would be something unimportant! "Finn, that wasn't just something - this was huge! This is huge! My ex-girlfriend was pregnant! Don't you think that this could be kind of relevant for me?"

"Don't be such an idiot, Logan! Do you even know how hard we tried to get to you? To talk to you! Every single time we even mentioned her name you went completely … well, you know that. It was so hard to not tell you but one time we decided that we had to tell you. This time we visited you in London? You remember that? – It was when –"

The big fight. I remembered. Colin and Finn were so eager to talk about Rory, they would not stop, so I ran off. I could not stand that – them talking about Rory.

Finn said: "So, I guess you remember. You just left, Logan, just when we were about to tell you. And I am pretty sure that you also remember that you ignored us for a few months? We didn't speak a word, and when we got back in contact, you made us vow not to speak about Rory anymore."

"We agreed, because we thought it would be for your own good." Colin added. "We knew, that sooner or later you would return to the States, or to Rory, or whatever. We gave you time, Logan. And, hey, you never opened Rorys letters, do you? Never reacted to her tries of contacting you? She gave up after some time, Logan." Rory contacted me? That was new to me.

"What are you talking about? I never got letters or anything else!"

"Are you sure? Because I think she even planned on visiting you after she found out that she was pregnant –"

Why was everyone defending her? Why was I the bad one? "Yes, she was pregnant with a child from another man! Don't you get that? She – and you – how can you be so comfortable with her and the child? I mean –"

Finn and Colin looked alarmed. "What?" I asked annoyed. Finn gestured me to turn around, which I did. Rory was standing there, holding her daughter in her arms. She was observing me with tears in her eyes. Then she turned around and walked away. Again. I was watching her walking away from me over and over again. This time I followed her.

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